Listening Lessons : Enhancing Our Communication Skills

It is remarkable that we are never taught how to breathe or how to listen. Certainly with respect to breathing, there is more and more awareness of lessons on how to breathe properly. With respect to listening, the lessons are few and far between.

The human ear is a strange product of evolution. It is designed to listen well. In practice, perhaps we do not do it too well.

In reptiles, the two-part ear, comprising the inner and the outer, is attached to the jaw. Therefore, when a lizard eats, it cannot speak or hear. So also conversely. Mammals have a three-part ear, an evolutionary innovation. There is an additional middle ear, which is detached from the jaw.

The mammalian ear is a master of detecting very quiet sounds. Yet we humans do not listen too well. Husbands do not listen well to wives, bosses do not listen too well to employees, and parents do not listen too well to their next-gen children.

Yet listening well and reflecting upon what we have listened to is a key part of implicit feedback. How can we listen better?

Strangely it seems that the deaf can teach us how to listen better.* Bruno Kahne worked with deaf people and became familiar with their ‘silent culture. He learned five lessons from them which facilitate better interpersonal relationships.

Look people in the eye

Many of us take notes as we listen to people so that we can remember things. Some of us are not fully engaged with the speaker. On the other hand, deaf people look at the speaker in the eye and make sure that they are fully present in the interaction. They absorb more and retain more.

Don’t interrupt

In many management situations, and certainly in television debates, there are simultaneous and multiple conversations.

That will never happen with deaf people. They follow a strict protocol of one person speaking at a time. Consensus and agreement are reached faster than out of a heated and overlapping conversation. ‘In the long term, slower is faster, writes Kahne.

Say in a simple way what you mean

Deaf people are direct and they communicate with their thoughts and feelings. They tend not to hide behind flowery words. They are economical about the way they communicate.

For the same reason, they listen well too.

Ask to repeat if you do not understand

Sign language is evolving much more than the spoken word.

New signs evolve all the time. Signs used by people from one region may be different from those used by people from another region. Therefore, deaf people do not hesitate to ask for clarification if they have not understood something.

Be focused

Deaf people do not multitask; they concentrate on the interaction on hand. They cut themselves off from distractions. With the advent of PDAs and Blackberrys, hearing people do the opposite.

Deaf people demonstrate how to exchange information efficiently and without adornment, says Kahne.

Source : When the Penny Drops: Learning What’s Not Taught by R. Gopalakrishnan

Goodreads : https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9716794-when-the-penny-drops

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I’m Vaibhav

I am a science communicator and avid reader with a focus on Life Sciences. I write for my science blog covering topics like science, psychology, sociology, spirituality, and human experiences. I also share book recommendations on Life Sciences, aiming to inspire others to explore the world of science through literature. My work connects scientific knowledge with the broader themes of life and society.

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